Nope. They Can't Mow the Lawn Nope. They Can't Mow the Lawn Sam was on all
fours, with her rear end stuck up into the air. I pushed down on the small of
her back so it was bowed downward. "OK," I asked, "Are you ready for your
surprise?" She nodded. I pulled the English hothouse cucumber from its hiding
place under the couch and coated it liberally with Motion Lotion. She hadn't
seen it yet, and was surprised as I slid it smoothly into her slippery cunt.
"Hey, what is that thing?" I just grinned -- the vegetable was at least 11
inches long, so I knew it had no chance of going in all the way. It was about
the diameter of a penis, though, or maybe just a little larger. She gasped as
I jammed it as far as I could, bottoming out against the dimpled dome of her
cervix. She didn't ask any further questions as I started working it in and
out of her cunt. The cucumber was coated with little bumps and ridges, so as I
pulled it out and pushed it back in, I gave it a little twist. Sam started
pushing back, mashing her stretched cunt lips against my fist. She was wet
enough that my hand was coated with pussy juice, so I slicked up my free index
finger and started working it into her asshole. Sam started to protest at this
intrusion, but calmed down after a few particularly firm strokes of the cuke.
My cock was already jutting from the front of my open-fly boxers, so I pulled
my finger from her rectum, grabbed the bottle of lubricant and coated my penis
liberally with the extra-slippery go-juice. I used the same finger again to
lube up her asshole, which was already incredibly tight because of the thick
cucumber stuffed in her twat. She gasped as I quickly popped my finger free
and maneuvered in behind her. I let go of the cucumber and it slid free,
landing on the carpet. I lined my cock up with her tight asshole and began
pushing -- just about half the head popped in -- there's a little space
between her anus and the tight ring of muscles inside her ass, and I just
worked the head of my cock in and out for a few minutes, getting her loosened
up. I reached down and picked up the slicked-up cucumber and shoved it
unceremoniously back into her cunt. She gasped, and from the way her breath
was rasping, I could tell it wouldn't be long before she'd come. I rocked
forward again on my knees, lined up my cock, and drove it slowly to the hilt
into her tight, unyielding ass. She cried out and shut her eyes tight, begging
me to take it out (she always does when I ease my fleshy penis into her tight
ass), but started to move with my strokes in spite of her temporary
discomfort.

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 I took it slow for a few more moments, then started pistoning in
and out of her tight ass. I alternated strokes -- I shoved my cock in while I
pulled the cucumber out, and then jammed the cuke back into her cunt as I
pulled my prick from her rectum. Her large, heavy breasts swung wildly as I
fucked her well in both of her sexual openings. I leaned back and slapped each
ass cheek twice, which drives her crazy. She hates saying "Fuck the shit out
of me" but I make her do it anyway... I leaned forward, pausing for a moment,
and threated to stop if she wouldn't say it. She didn't even hesitate. "Fuck
the shit out of me," she whipsered huskily. Always willing to oblige, I
redoubled my efforts, ramming my prick up her ass, jamming the cucumber in as
deep as I could. I felt the head of my cock rubbing against the vegetable as
they both shoved from opposite sides against the thin wall of flesh separating
the two orifices. She couldn't talk now. Her whole world was breathing and
pushing against me, and I fucked her as brutally as I could, my hand hurting
from jamming the vegetable into her, and my cock aching from its exertions. My
balls pulled up against the base of my cock, and I knew I was going to come.
Sam started to climax, so I shoved both phalluses deep inside her. She came
harder than I had ever seen before, so out of control that both pussy juice
and a small stream of piss leaked from her cunt and dripped down her leg. I
rolled my head back, closed my eyes and filled that hot, wet, tight, perfect
ass of hers with all the come I could muster, jerking with dry humps long
after my balls were drained. I pulled out slowly -- she's really sensitive
after sex -- and she collapsed onto the floor, curled up in a little, sweaty
sexy ball. I lay back to rest for a while. The sun was shining through the
wooden shutters, but it was still cold in the living room. I pulled the
Mexican blanket from the back of the couch and draped it over her -- she was
already on the verge of sleep, fucked to the point of exhaustion. She slept
until I woke her for dinner. I'd never made Beef Wellington before, but she
swore it was the best she'd ever had. And as for the salad... well... I'm not
sure if she even thought about the peeled, sliced cucumber that garnished the
bowl. To this day I get a hard-on when I walk through the produce section at
the grocery store. I've found myself lingering next to the bananas lately... 

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