| I recall during my youth the time my sister and I were
caught fucking.
We had been happily screwing ourselves silly (as much as a nine and
ten-year-old could) until we got busted by our mom. It felt pretty good,
and I remember not thinking what we were doing was either good or bad.
But, when we got caught, I got my ass beat pretty good and was told never
to do such a horrible thing again.
We did, but this isn't my point right now. I remember when asking my
mother why it was wrong and getting the age-old answer, "Because it
is."
Making the mistake of asking my father, instead of getting the answer I was
looking for, I got another beating. Hmm! Not very smart of me, but I
wanted an answer.
In the neighborhood I grew up in, incest between brothers and sisters
was pretty much par for the course and, yes, even between brothers in some
cases. To us, it was fun; most of us knew if we ever got caught by an
adult, our asses were grass, but I'm sure everyone reading this knows the
greater the risk, the greater the excitement.
Anyway, it was years before I finally found out exactly why incest was
wrong, learned there were religious and social ramifications concerning it.
In the intervening years, learning what motivated them to do it and the
results of their actions I talked to a lot of people who'd had incestuous
relationships of many kinds.
More often than not, it was something that happened once or twice and
was forgotten. Sometimes, there was some emotional damage - but this was
more of an exception.
Examining sex between parents and their children, I can easily recall my
father helping himself to the same sister I was joyfully doing way back
then. Getting bold, years later I asked my sister about those times and
learned it was her idea from the beginning. My father had been reluctant,
but she was able to break him down and they got it on. Then, really
getting bold, I asked my father about it. When he finally found his voice,
his explanation was confusing.
Speaking about his needs getting mixed up for his love for my sister, he
explained it didn't happen because he didn't love or want my mother, they
fucked like rabbits. His final words were along the line of people being
people.
Almost done, so bear with me a little longer, please.
All grown up now, I have three children. When my second child came
along, a girl, I knew something could happen between our first (a boy) and
the new little girl and I had to decide right there in the delivery room
how I was going to handle it. Through my "studies," I learned the
more you
try to prevent it, the more of a chance it has of happening; but allowing
it to happen could prove harmful in the long run. What do I do?
By handing out some ass whippings, do I handle the matter in the way my
parents did, or do I sit the kids down and try to explain the deal to them?
Simply, I had already decided not to beat them for it.
Our last child was about 7 or 8 when it happened. My wife was out with
her mother and I was doing the daddy thing, watching the kids. They were
in the boys' room playing noisily and if I could hear them, everything was
cool and I wasn't worried. At what point they got quiet or for how long it
was I don't remember but I noticed it and went to check on them. Peeking
into the room, I saw my little girl Cassandra was spread out naked before
her equally naked brothers, Aaron and Jason! One was busy humping away on
her, the other getting sucked. Amused and angry at the same time, I pushed
the anger away before dealing with them.
Walking into the room and clearing my throat, expecting them to jump out
of their skins; to my surprise, they stopped and just looked at me as if
saying, "What?" I told them to get dressed and when they did, I
sat them
down and asked them if they knew what they were doing. As you can expect,
let alone if they should answer the question, I got blank looks because
they weren't sure how to answer.
"We were just playing," said Aaron, my oldest, and I calmly nodded.
As
simply as I could, I proceeded to tell them what the deal was and how much
trouble they could get in. They were surprised to learn their playing was
considered to be wrong and it was at this moment I realized rightness
and/or wrongness was a matter of perspective.
If you are doing something wrong and you don't know it until told later,
does it still make it wrong? Taking years to drive the point home,
explaining it to them was the hardest thing I ever did and thinking I
didn't know, they still indulged themselves. Keeping a very close eye on
things, I decided to let it go away on its own while and without any
mishaps, it eventually went away.
All during this time, I'd sit them down and explain to them what was
what. During one such discussion, my now 13-year-old daughter stood up and
said "It's my body, isn't it? If I want to let Aaron or Jason do me,
then
what's the problem?" She said she'd rather learn it at home and not
out on
the street and if she had a choice, she'd take home any time. Bold, huh?
Logically, Cassandra's argument was sound: As an individual, had the
right to choose. Morally, well, it was obvious - despite the detailed
explanations - they didn't have much in the way of problems with it. But,
followed by a short lesson in genetics, when I added the pregnancy issue
to
the discussion, it took care of things from that point on, but from them,
I
learned that even forbidding such things to happen didn't stop it from
happening. Beating them wouldn't solve anything and, in today's society,
would get me jailed for child abuse.
What are your thoughts, readers?
Part II
Continuing from there, if I may, I'd like to begin by asking the fathers
out there a rhetorical question: What do you do and/or say when your ten
year old daughter tells you she loves you and wants to marry you. And have
your children?
Of all the things I expected from my children, I didn't expect this one!
Wise in her own right, taking this to mean I should expect the worse and
be
surprised when the worse never showed up, my mother once told me parenting
is easier if you leave room in your thinking/expectations for your children
to make mistakes.
With this in mind, from the moment she was born, and because I used to
be one of those guys myself, I knew one day boys would be knocking on my
door with one thought on their minds: Get the booty! But being prepared
for incest between my children and boys chasing my daughter and one day
getting to her? I wasn't prepared for this!
In her mind, this was the ultimate show of affection she was capable of
thinking of, and I was touched by the love felt in her announcement. I
wound up explaining we could never marry or have children together because,
well, it is illegal to do so and there would be a lot of trouble - but
thanks for the well-intended feelings. Going about her business, she
seemed to accept this simple explanation, leaving me to ponder my actions
in this matter, did I handle it well without hurting her feelings?
Assuring myself I had, the matter was filed away.
A couple of years go by and my now-routine discussions with the kids are
proving to be quite beneficial. Wishing my own parents had bothered to
explain how the world worked to me in as much detail as I did and without
pulling any punches, after every such discussion, I'd reflect upon them.
Covering topics like preferences, anatomy, pregnancy, and STD's, in
having to deal with their incestuous activities, I had stumbled upon the
perfect way to educate them about sex in general. With the boys, pointing
them out for them lest they fall into the same frame of thinking I fell
victim to, I'd talk about some of the misconceptions I grew up with.
Letting them know you really didn't go blind or grow hair on your palms,
we
discussed masturbation and various techniques involved! This subject was
also discussed with their sister and I even provided her with a vibrator.
Well, all of this was well-received, except for a matter of privacy.
Because they could now masturbate openly and at their leisure, it got
interesting whenever one went looking for the other and unintentionally
walked in on their private autoerotic session! Had to lay down a new set
of rules - knock first and wait for a response before entering! Took a
while before it really set in, but eventually everyone was happy.
I came home from work one day and clearly angry about something, Cass
runs up to me. "Whoa! What's up?" I asked.
After regaining her calm, she said, "Aaron and Jason keep bothering
me
about doing 'it' and they won't take no for an answer!"
"Doing...? Oh! Go get them. Now."
Waiting until they were all present, while waiting, I flushed my anger
at this. Not angry because they were hitting on her, it was because they
didn't seem to want to respect her rights in the matter and I wanted to
know why.
Sitting them down, I calmly explained to Aaron and Jason, "Look, guys,
your sister's body belongs to her. If she wants to share it with you, it's
her choice and if she doesn't, well, too bad."
"Oh, one more thing; if I were to hear you're trying to force the
issue,
I will be most unhappy."
Well, a reaction I hadn't expected, the boys felt this was pretty
unfair! Because sharing things was the preferred behavior my wife and I
drilled into them, they felt sex also fell into the same category.
Frankly, even if I didn't agree with their premise and I was impressed
at this leap of logic, the rule was "voluntary sex is one thing - forced
sex totally unacceptable." Although grumbling about it, with a better
understanding of what was allowable and what wasn't, they went away from
the meeting.
For her part, Cass was satisfied with my handling of the matter, but, I
was curious as to why she had turned them down so I asked, "Cass? Uh,
why
did you tell them no?"
"Well, Aaron's too fat and Jason don't know enough to keep me
interested," came the response.
Because she was so serious, laughing inwardly, and managing to keep the
smile off my face, I told her "Okay, well, don't to worry about it;
but if
they try to infringe on your rights again, let me know."
Later in the evening, I was discussed the matter with my wife, Karen, to
bring her up to speed on the conversations I'd been having with the kids.
As I expected, she was skeptical at first because I was telling them having
sex with each other was okay.
"Let me explain my thinking here," I said. "I believe nothing
can be
done to prevent it and, with this thought in mind, I figure if they are
going to continue, they may as well be taught the pros and cons, as well
as
the alternatives, like masturbation."
Karen looked thoughtful. "And?," she prompted. I could tell she
was
starting to see my point so I continued.
"Because of these open discussions - and because the rule is everyone
could speak their minds, I know the boys are hot for their sister, yet,
nothing has taken place for a number of years."
This satisfied Karen and she agreed with the way I was handling the
situation, even though I felt she did so hesitantly and I knew why.
Even though we've known each other since high school, Karen being almost
two years older, this was something we never talked about before now.
Because I was all too aware of a couple of experiences she'd had with her
brother and knew the subject of incest between the children wouldn't sit
well with her. Earlier in our marriage, I was awakened one night by her
fighting off someone in her dreams and after some prodding, I got her to
tell me about it.
Karen sat up and lit a cigarette, exhaling noisily before saying, "Are
you sure you really want to hear this?"
Lighting my own smoke, I said, "Sure I do."
"When I was 13 or so," she began "a babysitter forced my
brother Raymond
to have sex with me. She told us if we didn't, she would cause trouble for
us with my mother."
Fascinated, I listened to Karen as she detailed the events of the day,
and I could see the effort it took for her to tell me.
"I don't know about Ray, but I was more afraid of the Denise and not
what my mom or pop might say."
"What did Ray say?" I asked.
Karen swallowed hard before continuing. "Hell, Ray was all for it
but I
could tell he was just as scared as I was. Denise went and got a belt and
made me get undressed, telling me she'd beat my ass if I didn't."
I could see the scene unfolding in my mind, Karen getting undressed
while the babysitter watched, belt in hand, occasionally slapping the tough
leather against the wall as if reminding them of what could happen if they
didn't do her bidding.
"What happened next?" I prompted. Hell, this was starting to
get
interesting and, in a strange way, it was exciting.
"Well," she said "Ray took his clothes off and I could see
his dick was
already hard." She shook slightly. "He climbed on top of me, trying
to put
it in me, but he kept missing."
I could feel myself becoming more aroused as I asked, "Did you help
him?
Did he get in?"
Karen turned and looked at me a frown creasing her features. "You're
really getting into this, aren't you?" she asked, noticing the tent
I was
making in the bed covers. Covering my hardness with my pillow (didn't hide
much), I said, "Look, I want to understand this and I can't if you don't
tell me all the details. Shit, you've gone this far, so you might as well
finish, right?"
"Well, to answer your question, no. I didn't help him and he never
made
it in me. I guess he was too horny or something because he just started
going through the motions, which was making Denise happy."
"After a couple of minutes, I felt something squirt between my legs
and
Ray was shaking like a leaf! I didn't know what was going on but when he
got off of me, I could see some white stuff all over my legs."
I was about to ask another question, but seeing she was rolling right
along, I kept it to myself. Karen's eyes were focused on some single point
in the room, remembering.
"Oh, but she wasn't done. I was getting ready to put my clothes back
on
when she came up behind me and started feeling me up. She told me to lie
back down and when I said no, she shoved me so hard I fell. Then she stuck
her head between my legs and I could feel her tongue in my pussy."
With my excitement threatening to get out of control, I asked her, "What
did it feel like?"
Giving me a look of total disgust, she said, "I was too scared to
even
care. After she got finished licking me, she grabbed Ray and sucked him
until he got hard again - and it didn't take much, believe me - then she
got on top of him."
"I wanted to run away, but she told me if I ran, she get me the next
time."
Pausing for a breath, Karen finished her sordid tale. About time, too,
because I was having, ahem, a hard time paying attention!
"Finally, she was done with us. My mother picked us up and when we
got
home, I told mom and you know what happened?"
"She had it out with Denise?" I offered.
"Not even close, " Karen answered, shaking her head. "She
didn't
believe me and accused me of making it up."
"Well, damn," I said, clearly stunned. "I know your brother
backed you
up, didn't he?"
Karen looked at me as if I were insane. "You're kidding, right? You
know he didn't open his damned mouth."
We sat quietly for several minutes while Karen composed herself. I was
both fascinated and, shamefully, aroused by her tale. Cautiously, I asked,
"Is there anything else you want to tell me?"
"Well, there was the night Ray snuck into my room and tried to fuck
me
while I was sleeping."
"Oh?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant. "And when did this
happen?"
"Before I tell you, you gotta promise me you won't get pissed off
and
kick Ray's ass! You two don't exactly get along as it is and, shit, I know
you and your temper."
I agreed, knowing Karen was getting ready to tell me something I didn't
want to hear; but, in for a penny. . .
"You and I had been together for a couple of months when he tried
this.
I was sleeping and, well, you know how sometime you just know something
ain't right?"
I nodded.
"Well, at first, I thought I was just dreaming - until I felt hands
on
my breasts and the top of my pussy!"
Ooooh! The next time I see Ray...!
"It woke me up," she continued, "and when I saw it was him,
I wanted to
know what the hell he was doing. Like I couldn't tell from the hard on
rubbing against my leg!" Lighting another smoke, Karen went on. "He
was
trying to give me some lame excuse - I didn't believe one word of it - when
he started begging me to let him fuck me, over and over, talking about how
bad he needed me."
In my mind's eye, I could see this scene being played out: Ray, all hot
and bothered, a wild, lustful look in his eyes while Karen was doing her
best to hide under the covers. My erection returned with full force as I
nodded for her to go on.
"Well, I ruined his whole night for him!", she said with a note
of
triumph in her voice. "You know my room is next to my parents, right?
I
told Ray if he didn't get out, I'd yell loud enough to wake Dad. I think
you know what he'd do."
Karen's father was one of those rough, hardened construction workers,
with hands the size of hams. Yeah, I knew what he would do to Ray - or
anybody else he caught in his daughter's bed.
Karen nodded, seeing I did know. "Ray knew what the deal was. He said
something about getting even for this before he stalked out. I thought
about waking my father anyway - but I knew Ray would lie and Dad would
believe him. Hell, Ray would probably say I came to him and then I'd get
my ass beat."
Damn! This explained a lot because even today, Ray and Karen rarely
speak to each other and even though Karen discounts it, I believe it has
something to do with that night.
Okay, back to my conversation with Karen. "According to my plan,'"
I
explained, "the children would soon forget sex with each other, opting
to
get it from outside sources as normal. But they'll go out there with all
the knowledge I possess crammed into their heads." I was confident they
wouldn't go out having sex indiscriminately or without thinking about the
consequences. I felt as if I had given them the power to make their own,
informed choices on who they wanted to have sex with and how to go about
it
safely.
One day, I was having the first of three one-on-one sessions with the
gang, the purpose of finding out how they were handling peer pressure and
generally wanting to know what was on their minds. During these sessions,
I would sit and listen, allowing them to ask questions, even personal ones
about my own life and I'd give them straight answers. Whenever asked a
question and I didn't have an immediate answer for (rare), I would promise
to get them the answer quickly and give it to them during the next rap
session, which I would do without fail.
So, sitting with Aaron, the oldest, I learned a couple more things I
didn't leave room for.
"Well, son, what's on your mind?", I began. Aaron looked back
at me as
if not understanding the question before a sheepish look replaced the blank
one."
"Ah, well, um, I've been jerkin' off just about every day," he
finally
said. I silently nodded, urging him to continue. When he didn't say
anything, I asked, "What do you think about while you're, ah, indulging
yourself?"
Again, the sheepish look. "Well, I usually think about fucking my
mother."
Oh, wow. Before I could respond, he added, "And you."
I wasn't really surprised with the announcement about his mother because
we both had a habit of walking around the house in our underclothes, so the
children were used to seeing us half-dressed and, on a few occasions,
naked. But, wanting to have sex with me? Oh, I just had to hear about
this!
I have to be careful here because he's not an easy person to talk to
most of the time and if I appeared to be overeager or uninterested, he'd
clam up.
"How do you feel about this?" I asked.
"Pretty good, actually!", he replied. "But, uh, is it wrong
for me to
have these thoughts?"
I used the pause of taking a deep breath to think of the appropriate -
and honest - answer. "Nah, man," I finally said. "Nothing
wrong about
thinking about it."
My answer seemed to put Aaron more at ease. I was about to turn the
conversation to a different direction when he asked, "What do you think
mom would do if she found out I wanted to, uh, do her?"
I blinked in surprise - then I got an idea! "Well, now, I can't speak
for your mother, but I'll tell you what. Because I love you, I would be
willing to, say, give you some head when you feel jerking off just won't
do. In this case, all you have to do is ask and we'll work something out.
But, in your mother's case, well, you need to talk to her yourself."
This seemed to put a damper on his mood, as a frown crossed his
features. I couldn't help but notice just how much he looked like his
mother whenever he did it.
"Look, Aaron, I'll tell you what," I began. "I'll let your
mother know
you might be coming to see her to ask a question. It'll be up to you to
say what you gotta say. Deal?"
This was a smart move on my part, because I felt the rejection I knew
Karen would give him would come out better if she knew what the question
was ahead of time.
After thinking about it for a few seconds, he finally said, "Deal."
With
this done and out of the way, I went to find Karen, all the while thinking
things were going to get interesting around here. Finding Karen in the
bedroom reading, I went and sat next to her.
"Hey! Got a minute?"
She looked up from her book. "Sure. What's up?"
It was all I could do to keep the grin off my face. "Well, Aaron wants
to talk to you about something."
"What?"
"I'd rather you hear it from him, babe." My grin widened.
Suspiciously, she asked again. "What? Will you get to the point!"
I told her what he was going to ask.
"He wants to do what?"
"He wants to make love to you," I repeated.
"Where in the hell did he get such an idea?" she asked.
"Need I remind you that you parade around in front of him in just
bra
and panties and he's even seen you in the raw a couple of times. Now,
where do you think he got the idea from?"
After thinking about this for a few, Karen finally saw my point. "Well,
yeah, I suppose it's enough to do it." She laughed.
"What's so funny?" I asked.
"I just think it's funny! Look, tell Aaron it's all right for him
to
talk to me when he's ready."
"Honey, go easy on him, okay? I mean, you know how hard it is to get
him to talk and you've got to be careful to let him down without crushing
him."
"Ah, don't worry. I'll deal with the situation as gently and as
diplomatically as possible."
Part III
If you've been following, and I hope so, we left of with the discussion
between my wife, Karen, and our oldest son, Aaron.
On the day of their historic talk, I made it a point not to be present
because I didn't want either of them to feel intimidated. Even though I
pretty much knew the outcome, I felt pretty good because we were addressing
the issue, not skirting it or hiding it under the rug.
An hour later, they broke from their little meeting. Aaron was looking
a bit disappointed and Karen was unreadable. I was really anxious to hear
how it went, but didn't push it. Later in the evening, she told me what
was said to him. She sat on the bed wearily and met my expectant gaze.
"Well," I began. "How did it go?"
"It went pretty good, I think. I explained to him as best I could
that
although I appreciated the thought and found it flattering, I'm just not
interested.
"He looked like he lost his lunch money," I said, relaxing when
I
realized she answered him honestly and without hurting him badly.
"I think he'll get over it," she said. "I'm glad we got
this out in the
open."
The next day, I happened to be sitting in the family room when Cass came
home definitely upset about something. She stormed past me without the
benefit of a greeting. I caught up with her and said, "Hey! Hold up!
Are
we having a problem?"
Indignantly, she replied, "A problem? A problem, he says. Why would
he
think I was having a problem when I found out from Carol today why the boys
are hanging around me all the time?"
Uh, oh. As I watched her, she folded her arms across her ample breasts
and began rocking back and forth. In an instant, it dawned on me what the
problem was.
"So, I take it you just found out the guys don't like you because
of
your sparkling personality, huh?" I said while hiding a smile. THIS
didn't
make me her favorite person.
"You think it's funny, huh?" she said, tears forming in her deep
brown
eyes, wiping the smile right off my face. Pulling her to me, I gave her a
big hug.
"Oh, come here. I'm sorry, okay?" I said, taking out my handkerchief
and wiping her eyes. "Honey, look, remember when I was telling you about
what boys would want from you when you got, uh, more grown?"
Sniffling, she said, "Yeah, I remember. I didn't want to believe you!"
"Cass, I wouldn't lie to you about something like this. Remember,
I
wasn't born as old as I am and, since I'm a boy, don't you think I'd know
the deal?" The look she gave me was precious, like it never occurred
to her
that I used to be a teenager.
"Dad, what can I do about this?"
I was puzzled because, as far as I could see, there wasn't much she
could do other than try her best to weed out those who truly liked her from
those who only wanted to fuck her. So this is what I told her - even
though she wasn't satisfied by this answer, by any means.
"Oh, great," she groaned. "You mean I have to put up with
this for the
rest of my life?"
"'Fraid so, Pumpkin. Think of it as an occupational hazard - it's
all
part of being a girl.
Thinking the conversation was over, I started to turn away. As I did, I
could see Cass deep in thought - there was something else on her mind.
"Was there something else you wanted to say?"
"Huh? Oh, I was just thinking about something."
"Okay, what?"
With a look of determination, Cass said, accusingly, "You know, you
never did answer a question I asked you a couple of years ago."
Question? What question? Frantically, I tried to recall every question
she had ever asked me, trying to find the right one. Impossible, right?
Seeing I couldn't remember, she proceeded to refresh my memory.
"You remember the night we were talking about, um, me wanting to marry
you and other stuff?"
"I do now," I said, feeling a little stupid.
"You remember I told you I wanted to do something, but I didn't know
how
to do it?"
Then I remembered! Cass had said something about wanting to have sex
with someone, but was afraid to approach them. As the conversation
replayed in my mind, the real question finally appeared and I felt my heart
go cold for a moment.
"You asked me if I would make love to you." A statement, not
a question.
Cass looked at me, waiting for an answer.
I remembered clearly now. We had gotten so tied up in discussing the
whys of the situation and, truthfully, I never answered the question. And
now she wanted an answer. I sat there in silence, thinking of how to deal
with this. Cassandra is very attractive; in addition to her large breasts,
her deep brown eyes were a perfect match for her tawny brown skin and,
initially, the sudden thought of doing her was delightfully sinful. "Why
would you want this?" I asked, a feeling of panic going through me.
"The way I see it, sex between two people is fine, especially if the
two
people love each other."
"This is true, hon, but why me?"
Cass's answer was simple and to the point: "Because I love you and
I
know you love me."
Gathering my composure, I quietly began to explain the implications of
such an action. "Honey," I began, "Something like this could
leave you
emotionally damaged, not to mention physically harmed."
"So? I'm not worried about any damage because I know you wouldn't
do
anything to hurt me."
Okay, this tact didn't work. "Well, you gotta know the emotional damage
could show up later in life." I was fishing, but she held her ground.
You
would think an intelligent adult could out-think a 13 year old, huh? But
just by looking at the base logic of her argument, I couldn't find any
holes in it. Yet.
"Okay, consider this. Do you have any idea what could happen to me
if
anyone ever found out I had done this? I'd be arrested and booked for a
serious crime! I'd lose my job right along with your mother and brothers.
Providing your mother didn't kill me first!"
"Oh! And if she didn't, well, I'd have to go to court and you would
have to testify against me." I was regaining my confidence.
"Hah. I'd just tell them it was my idea!"
"Oh, right. You know what they'd say? They'll say I pressured you
into
saying it. In any event, I'd be convicted and would probably go to jail
for the rest of my life. And, even if they let me out of jail, my life
would be ruined forever."
I was getting to her - I could see the fear in her eyes as it ran
rampant through her as she soaked up this information. I had no doubt
about how much she loved me - in fact, I was counting on it to help me in
this situation. Then the fear vanished and she said, "So, no one will
ever
know. I promise."
Even though this wasn't going very well, I was doing a great job of
keeping my composure. For a moment, I gave some thought to using the
age-old parental prerogative of saying "No," followed with the
ever popular
"Because I said so!" However, there was the matter of my solemn
oath to
never take this stance on serious matters relating to their growth and
well-being.
I reached down for the big guns, even though I now knew in my heart that
I wanted to make love to her. Even though I was arguing with her, the
truth had made itself known the moment I hugged her as, feeling her breasts
pressing against me and her arms wrapped tightly around me, I could feel
my
cock stirring.
Still, I tried to dissuade her. "You remember our discussion about
pregnancy and genetics? Good. You know even if we took every precaution,
you could still get pregnant and, genetically, there could be problems.
Hell, just being pregnant and not being able to "point the finger"
at
someone would arouse suspicions." Check!
With a maturity I didn't know she had, she walked over to me, sat next
to me and took me by the hands. With tears in her eyes, she said, "You
know, all I ever dream about is having your baby. Every night, I lay awake
waiting for you to come and make me a woman. I have to settle for the
vibrator and pretend it's you inside me."
I could feel my full erection straining against my underwear as she
spoke, so much I made a show of sitting on the sofa. I patted the spot
next to me and after getting comfortable, she continued.
"Dad, you don't know how many times I'd sneak to your bedroom door
and
peek in while you and my mother were doing it, wishing that I was in her
place!"
Listening to her, I felt so much love for her because I knew what it
felt like to want someone so badly. There had been quite a few ladies in
my life that I felt this way about and so I knew the maddening frustration
all too well.
What to do? Do I allow something to take place that could destroy me
personally and ruin my family? Or, by rejecting her, do I run the risk of
having her out running the streets, fucking anyone who asked? I knew this
action could be more trouble for her because she'd be labeled an easy piece
of ass and make her a target for any boy/man who could convince her to drop
her panties? My God, what do I do?
Cass played her trump card, saying, "I'll understand if you won't
do
this for me, but, I guess I'll just have to go out there and learn the hard
way."
How in the Hell did she know what I had been thinking? So, with as much
determination I could muster I called her bluff - she is bluffing, isn't
she? "Okay, this is what we'll do. When you're ready to make love and
the
coast is clear, let me know and we'll see what happens."
She smiled. "Thanks, Dad. I love you!"
"And I love you, too. Now, go change out of your school clothes."
As
she practically ran to her room, I went up to my own room to ponder my
predicament. I searched my feelings and found I was of two minds on this.
On one hand, the thought of making love to my daughter was intoxicating.
She was beautiful and, oh, to be able to feel her young body respond to my
years of experience. On the other hand, there was her innocence to be
considered. Could I justify letting her run wild, laying down for any and
everybody?
What do I do?
PART IV
A few days after this conversation, I was at home alone having decided
to take the day off from work, you know, to get away for a moment and
chill. I was waltzing around the bedroom picking up stuff when I heard a
sound coming from downstairs - there was someone else here! I wasn't too
concerned about my safety, but whoever was in my home was about to run into
some problems! I eased down the steps quietly, easy to do with the thick
carpeting and, after reaching the family room on the second floor, I paused
to pick up the sound again. There it was again, coming from the kitchen.
I crept down the back staircase leading to the kitchen, my plan of
attack already in place. Even though I was completely naked, I could use
that bit of shock to my advantage. I heard the intruder coming in my
direction. Ready to strike quickly, when I heard the footsteps near me, I
jumped out!
Cassandra dropped the cup of milk and sandwich she was carrying, a look
of utter surprise on her face. My ability to recognize things quickly paid
off as I stopped the blow before it really began. I'm sure both of us were
going through an adrenaline rush. She wasn't surprised at my nakedness -
she was surprised to see me period, obviously thinking no one was at home.
After relaxing, I asked, "Damn, it, Cass! You almost got hurt! Why aren't
you in school?"
Cass found something really interesting about her feet to look at,
deliberately avoiding the question.
"Well?"
Taking a deep breath, she said, "There's these two boys at school.
They
keep asking me if they can, uh, you know. So I decided to hide in my
closet and skip school."
"That's no excuse for missing school, young lady. Look, clean this
mess
up; I'm going to get dressed and you're going to school. And, I'll talk to
the principal and your teacher so we can try to head off any problems. Be
ready in ten minutes!"
Leaving her to clean up her mess, I went upstairs, still pretty charged
up from the encounter so I paced the large bedroom to use up the supply of
adrenaline surging through me. At one point during my pacing, I turned and
faced the bedroom door - and found Cass standing there. How long had she
been standing there?
Dismissing that thought, I said, "Yeah? What do you want?"
"You know what I want" she replied, not taking her eyes off of
me. I
suppose that the look I gave her back told her that I didn't know.
Frowning slightly, she said, "You said when I was ready to make love
and
the coast was clear, I'm supposed to ask. So, I'm asking."
Uh, oh. Trapped. And something in my mind quietly shut itself down as
I remembered my promise to myself to never bullshit the kids as my parents
had done me. Up to this point, I had never broken a promise to any of
them. But, I felt maybe this might be a good time to break a promise; I'd
deal with my guilt later. I called her bluff. "Cass, are you sure you
want to do this?"
Her answer was to start taking her clothes off. Okay, this is no big
deal. I've seen her naked since the day she was born. As she removed her
panties, I could see the triangular patch of hair covering her mound, and
I
caught myself wondering when it grew in. I also noticed something else was
taking place - to my shock, I was getting hard. After removing her top,
she reached around - as only women can - and unfastened her bra and I
couldn't help but notice how large and firm her breasts were. And I was
growing harder every second.
Now completely naked, she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around
me, my now hard cock nestling against her. Even in this close proximity,
I
was still in control, right up to the point where she looked up at me.
Looking into her deep brown eyes froze me in place, distracting me as she
dropped to her knees, grabbed my cock, and without a word, began licking
it.
Whatever common sense I had left at the first touch.
I could feel her trembling - or was it me? As she licked the shaft of
my cock. When she closed her mouth around the head, I tried to push her
away before my lust got the better of me.
"Baby, no..."
Didn't work. She was licking and sucking the head and the feeling was
so intense... I lost it. I guess she felt the spasms and lifted her mouth
from me, just in time to catch a face full of sperm. I was embarrassed -
but not for the reason you may think. In all my years, no one had ever
gotten me off so quickly and here she was, doing it for only a couple of
minutes and I exploded like I had no control whatsoever.
Cass looked up at me smiling, and went into the bathroom to clean her
face off. Bringing back a wet washcloth, she proceeded to clean me off.
And I stood there like an idiot, my mouth hanging open as she wiped the
remnants of my seed off my semi-hard cock and the few drops that found
their way onto my feet. To say I was stunned isn't doing the word any
justice. While I stood there shaking, the last bit of sense I had left,
leaving me running on sheer passion.
I picked her up and took her to the bed and, upon laying her down, I
spread her legs to expose her young pussy, lowering my mouth to it.
Something in my brain that still lived was screaming at me to stop - what
I
was doing was so wrong. I ignored it and flicked my tongue between her -
surprise - wet pussy lips. This wasn't my daughter now and I went to work
on her, eating her like a man possessed. Finding her clit, I sucked it in
and began running my tongue over it.
"Oh, yes," she exclaimed, and she grabbed my head and began fucking
my
face so hard and so fast! For a moment I couldn't keep up. My world
consisted of her legs clamped tightly around my head and the hot wetness
of
her pussy as I licked and sucked furiously. Although muffled, I could hear
the sounds of her passion.
"Oh, yeah, yeah, YES! Please don't stop, oh God, don't let him stop."
Hearing these lusty outcries served to increase my passion as I plunged my
tongue into her hot slit. Suddenly, I felt her shaking tremendously - all
I could do was to hold on. I felt her small, hard clit give a strong pulse
and she FLOODED my face with a blast of liquid love. The initial surge was
so strong, it went up my nose, stopping my breathing.
"Oh! Oh! WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME!"
I was in complete shock as her flow just kept coming. Even though I had
stopped sucking her clit, I still had it between my lips; each time it
pulsed, a jet of liquid followed, as if she had been saving it all for this
moment. As God is my witness, her orgasm lasted for a full five minutes.
Never before in my life had I seen a woman come so hard and so much.
Cassandra was so overwhelmed by the intensity that she was as stiff as a
board and trembling like she had epilepsy. One final, incredibly strong
pulse, and she went limp, breathing very hard. I turned and looked at her.
She was practically glowing. Slowly she opened her eyes - had a little
trouble focusing - and smiled at me. She reached over and grabbed my
erection and tugged on it, pulling me towards her.
"Now, " she said. "Do it now."
I grunted something unintelligible in return. As I positioned myself
between her legs, my mind screamed at me to stop. Hah. Fat chance.
"Cass, baby, let me know if I'm hurting you," I murmured, wondering
if
I'd be able to get it in her. In reply, she nodded and I began my
penetration, telling my mind to shut the hell up in the process.
I expected some resistance so I went slowly. When I pushed gently, I
slid halfway into her so easily that I wondered who had been there before
me. She must have known what I was thinking, because she said, "You
forgot, didn't you? Remember the toy you got me?"
Oh. That would explain no cherry; obviously she'd been making very good
use of the 12" vibrating dildo I'd gotten for her. After giving her
a
minute to adjust, I reveled in how good she felt around me.
"Are you ready?" I asked.
"Go, go, go!" she cried and I began stroking inside her until
I was able
to penetrate her to my full length. Again, I was impressed. She next did
something that further surprised me, moving under me until she could look
down between us. Of course, it meant I had to shift my position, easy to
do since I hadn't put my full weight on her. I mean, after all, I was
easily twice her weight.
"Okay. Hey, don't stop now! I want to see you going in me."
I started again and she watched my cock sliding slowly in and out of
her. It must have been quite a sight for her because I felt a strong
contraction and her fluids splashed out of her, adding to the literal
puddle already there. With her being so much shorter than I was, being on
top of her was uncomfortable. So I withdrew, which she didn't like.
"Hey, don't worry! I want to finish from behind." She tensed
and I
could see she thought I meant to enter her ass. "Cass, just relax and
trust me, okay?"
I flipped her over and positioned her and after spreading her buttocks,
I entered her in one thrust, drawing a squeal of delight from her. I
watched as I slid easily in and out of her, marveling at how something so
big was being taken without any problems. Then I realized something - I
wasn't wearing a condom. In fact, I never used condoms before and never
kept them around.
Noticing I had stopped, she asked, "Dad, what's wrong?"
"Shit. No condom. I can't come in you, so I'll have to pull out before
I do, okay?"
"I don't care - just as long as you finish".
Relieved there was a bit of sense left in me after all, I got going in
earnest. Each time I went deep into her, I felt the contraction and knew
she was coming. I looked under her and was shocked to see a rather large
puddle of liquid under her. It was too much for me. I was at the point
where if I didn't get out now, I never would so I started to pull out. As
I did, I lost my balance, causing me to fall forward onto her. She grunted
at the impact and I was scrambling on the soaked sheets to get up and out.
But it was too late; I was already pumping what seemed to be a gallon of
cum into her so fast I got dizzy.
"Ugh. Jesus, NO!", I screamed as I came, frozen in place as my
cock
continued to shoot jet after jet of hot stickiness into her. Cass was
coming again, trembling and thrashing under me so much I thought I was
hurting her. I looked down between us, mesmerized by the sight of my long,
thickness buried deep inside of her and the seeing my come flowing out of
her, despite being filled.
"Oh, yes!" she cried out. "I can feel it shooting in me!
Ooh, it's so
hot!"
Finally, I was able to get up and out of her - but the damage was done.
No, she didn't get pregnant, but I was pretty angry with myself for one,
being so clumsy and two, for not being able to get out of her. My brain,
just now coming back from its exile, was mumbling something about me not
having this to worry about had I not done it in the first place. I sent my
thoughts back into exile as, spent and somewhat confused, I laid down next
to Cass, trying to catch my breath.
After a minute, I turned and looked at her, keeping my concerns from
showing on my face. Cassandra was glowing, and her smile told me she was
just fine, thank you.
"Well? What do you think?"
Her smile grew wider. "Wow. You really know how to do somebody, don't
you? It felt like you were all the way in up to my belly! I think I just
died and went to heaven!"
"Are you okay?"
"Of course, I'm okay. Daddy, this is all I've ever wanted in life.
Thank you."
"No, Cass, honey; thank you!" I leaned over and kissed her deeply,
feeling her tongue slip between my lips. I was so happy I was crying,
which started her crying. As I held her tightly against me, I heard myself
tell her, anytime, anyplace it didn't matter, I'd make love to her.
But, this isn't the end of my story...
Part V, Chapter 1
I was up getting ready for work one morning, about a week afterwards.
While I was shaving, I took a close look at my reflection in the mirror and
a pang of guilt flowed through me as my mind flashed back to the events of
last week in an instant. The more I though about it, the more guilt I
felt, so much I though I was going to be sick.
I remembered having the sensation of floating above the clouds for the
rest of the day, as we made love again. Only this time, I had enough sense
to go out and get condoms. We spent some pretty special moments exploring
each other body and soul and I knew in my heart I'd never been happier.
Later in the night, Karen and I made love despite my having been sated
earlier in the day. But, this wasn't the same. Now, don't get me wrong -
Karen isn't a slouch by any means. However, there was something missing -
or different - and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. While Karen
slept, I sat up thinking. Oh, it was so refreshing! Every day after the
first time, Cassandra and I made love - well, more like quickies, really.
She would come to me and suck me until I was hard, then I'd go down on her
to make sure she was very wet and to give her at least one good orgasm.
Then, after slipping on a condom, we'd go for it.
But I was of two minds. On the one hand, I felt so very much alive and
good about what had taken place. But as I stared at myself in the mirror,
the other side of me had something very different to say.
"You are evil," the other side said. "You have taken her
innocence and,
worst, you have sinned."
I blinked, the full knowledge of what had been taking place making
itself apparent. Picking up my razor, I continued to shave - but carefully
- because my hands were shaking.
"Pervert! Child molester!," the voice kept saying as I completed
my
task, thinking all of the bad things which could happen. My thoughts were
scattered as I absently got dressed and went on to work. I don't know how
I made it through the day as my conscious haunted me every moment. On the
way home, I made a mental stand, fighting to justify it, knowing what had
happened was what we both wanted. With a strong effort, I told myself the
truth. I knew I wanted her; just the thought of it would send chills
through me. At the same time, I knew denying it only meant I was lying to
myself. Having dispelled the demon in my head, I felt better.
Upon returning home that evening, I found the house empty - a note in
the kitchen told me Karen had taken two of the kids with her and they'd be
back soon. I frowned at the note, knowing my wife's idea of "soon"
meant
they'd be gone for hours.
Suddenly, I ran up the back stairs up to the family room, looking to see
which two had gone. Need I tell you what I was hoping? But, Cass's room
was empty and my heart fell. I headed upstairs to my bedroom, suddenly
feeling old. Passing by the boys' room, I noticed Aaron was the one who
got left. We exchanged greetings and I went up the stairs.
I was in a pretty funky mood - I still hadn't come completely to terms
with the feelings I experienced earlier in the morning. I sat on the bed
and began my justification process again, thinking once I regained my
purpose, I'd feel better about it all. After about an hour, I had
reassured myself the actions I had taken were the right ones and I really
felt much better.
I went down to the family room to put on some music. Once done, I
settled down to play a video game and was soon lost in the business of
racking up points. At hearing the game start up, Aaron came out of his
room and stood watching me play.
Aaron is, like I've mentioned before, not exactly strange in his
behavior; he's just peculiar. He spends a lot of time by himself and
doesn't really say much. I noticed him standing there (couldn't miss him,
really) and paused the game.
"Aaron! You need something?", I asked. As I expected, he just
stood
there looking at me and it was all I could do to hold back my natural
frustration at this.
"Aaron? Hello?"
Again, all I got was a look.
I put the controller down and stood to face him, my temper flaring a
bit, and asked again, "What do you want?".
To my surprise, he answered, "Uh, you remember our deal?"
For one moment, I didn't know what he meant. Then I remembered.
"Yeah, I remember. What about it?" Actually, it didn't take much
to
figure out what he wanted, since I remembered what we had talked about. I
watched him shifting his weight back and forth and it became obvious to me
he couldn't get the words out of his mouth.
"Aaron, would you like for me to suck you?", I asked, holding
back a
laugh.
Well, you would have thought I just told him that he won a million
dollars! His look of relief was quite evident. But, I wasn't going to let
him off easily!
"Well, if you remember, son, I also said if this is what you wanted,
you'd have to ask for it."
My reminder seemed to ruin his day a little as he looked around the room
nervously. Me? I just stood there because I was actually enjoying his
discomfort. After a couple of minutes, he cleared his throat and said, "I
want you to get me off."
"Wasn't so hard, was it?" I asked. He just nodded. After making
sure
the front door was locked, I took him to his room.
A bit of an aside, if I may. In the course of my own learning about
sex, I had several opportunities to have men make love to me. I learned I
really didn't like having a hard one up my ass, mostly because the guys I
let do it would just start pounding away without realizing how
uncomfortable it was for me. However, I did find out I like to suck cock
and learned to appreciate why a lot of the women I knew just loved doing
it. I had decided nothing could replace making love to a woman in my life,
but if the opportunity ever presented itself, well, it's an interesting
change.
Okay, thanks for letting me get that in.
Once in his room, I walked over to him and unfastened his pants,
noticing he was already hard. I helped him to step out of his pants and
underwear and stepped back to admire my first born's equipment. Even at
his age, he was well developed, with a curious bend to his cock, sort of
making it look like a banana. While I surveyed things, I could hear him
breathing, hard and fast.
"Aaron, lie down and relax. Oh, if it helps, you can close his eyes.
After he got as comfortable as he could, I began.
Taking his turgid meat in my hands, I began jerking him slowly,
massaging him along the way, which made him moan - and almost had me
laughing. I squashed the urge to laugh and got down to business, taking
the head of his cock into my mouth. I sucked and licked him slowly, all
the while watching his facial expressions. He had his eyes screwed tightly
shut, his mouth partly open. So, he's okay so far. Good. As I increased
my activity, I became very much aware of my own erection trapped in my
clothing and my own excitement was mounting.
Remember the little voice that was screaming at me when I first made
love to my daughter? It had returned in good voice, proclaiming again just
how wrong I was. I ignored the voice, continuing to work my son's cock.
Slowly, I took him deeply into my throat, causing him to raise his hips
some. I repeated the maneuver, getting same result. I drew my mouth back
to the head of his cock and began tonguing under the rim of his cock,
making sure that I didn't miss the slit.
He began thrusting into my mouth as my tongue flicked across it, slowly
at first, but soon he was really going for it, so much I put both hands on
his hips to slow him down a bit because I was losing my rhythm. Getting
him down to a speed I could deal with, I went right back to the slit of his
cock, alternating my attack between it and the sensitive spots under the
crown.
It wasn't long before I felt those telltale tremors running along his
shaft and I knew what was next. I was really into it, relishing the feel
of a hard cock in my mouth and knowing I was giving him pleasure. His
whole body went stiff as the first spurts came and I concentrated on
getting his full load. He began to tremble as spurt after spurt flowed
from him until, finally, I could feel him growing soft.
But I was full of fire! My own hardness was crying out for attention!
Getting up from my kneeling position beside him, I freed myself, causing
Aaron a moment of alarm - he was thinking he would have to return the
favor. Shaking my head, I grabbed my cock and began to work it furiously,
my hand literally a blur. After just a few minutes - I was really horny -
a blast of semen went right over his prone form to splash against the
window.
"Wow," I said, smiling. "I never did that before!"
"Dad?"
"Yeah, son?"
"Thanks. You just don't know how much I needed that." What Aaron
didn't
know was I needed it just as much as he did.
"You okay about all of this?" I asked before turning to leave.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just hope this won't be the only time!"
Smiling, I said, "That depends on you. If you want to, then you know
the deal, right?" At his nod of agreement, I left his room.
Part V, Chapter 2
Over the next several months, I made love with either Cass or Aaron
whenever asked, making sure after each "session," we would talk
so I could
be sure they were doing well emotionally. There were days when I would
have my doubts about my role in this. Was I really in this because I loved
them so - or was I just using them? Usually, the answers were always the
same. I knew I loved them more than ever.
I wanted to tell Karen about all of this, so I could share my happiness
with her. She had other plans though. While preparing dinner one evening,
Karen approached me, saying, "Chris, We have to talk."
"Sure. Wait a minute." I lowered the heat on the food and sat
at the
table. "Okay. What's on your mind?"
Karen thought for a few seconds before saying, "Is there something
going
on between you and Aaron?"
"Yes." No point in lying to her, but I was curious as to how
she found
out.
"It's because he, well, he just doesn't show any interest in girls,
isn't it?"
"Mostly. Some of it has to do with me. Does this bother you?"
"Oh, no!" she replied. "I noticed a change in him - he's
standing
taller and he's showing a confidence I didn't know he had. Yesterday, I
found him mopping the kitchen floor - and I didn't have to ask him!"
"My
curiosity got the best of me so I asked him what changed him."
"He told you about our little sessions, then?"
Karen nodded before saying, "Honey, you probably did him a favor.
His
school work is better, he doesn't argue with Jason or Cass as much as he
used to. It's like he's a whole new person!"
With some relief, I said, "Ah, so you approve! I was hoping that you
would. You know I've done this with other guys in the past. I still like
it very much, so in a way, it's like killing two birds."
"Did you include Jason as well?"
"I gave him the choice, but he said he'd join in if he felt the need
to.
So far he hasn't."
"Well, I just wanted to let you know that I don't have a problem with
it."
"But, it's incest, regardless of the reasons!"
"Only if you get caught, dear." She came over to me and kissed
me. "I
love you very much. I know you're doing this out of love and not need.
Just be careful that nobody else finds out about this, okay?"
Smiling broadly, I agreed - this was one of the reasons I married Karen.
She could be so understand ing in situations where you'd assume she
wouldn't be.
Part V, Chapter 3
Life continued on for the family. Because of some financial problems,
we had to give up our large home and move to one not so big. But, it was
a
place to live and we went about the business of settling in. Cass and I
shared each other's bodies whenever we could. We had a code to use if one
or the other of us were interested. To ask if she was interested, I'd
flash either one, two, or three fingers at her. This indicated the time
she wanted me to come to her room and, if interested, she'd nod and show
fingers for a time convenient for her. If not interested, she'd just shake
her head or shrug her shoulders. On more than one occasion, we almost got
caught at this by Karen. I can't really say why I never told her about
Cass and me. It wasn't because I didn't want to - I just didn't.
The cat nearly came out of the proverbial bag one day. Karen and
Cassandra had been having a semi-heated discussion about Cass's use of
makeup. I watched as the two women I loved with all my heart battled over
the pros and cons. Karen was saying, "Cass, no man wants to sleep with
a
woman that wears too much makeup!"
Cass replied, "Oh, yeah? My father doesn't think so!"
I had a great urge to be somewhere else.
Karen, looking amused, said, "Really? And how do you know what your
father likes?"
Cass, looking smug, replied, "How do you think I know?"
I'd rather have been in Philadelphia.
Karen looked over at me with a questioning look, but said, "He'll
tell
you anything, since you're daddy's little girl!", knowing Cass hated
being
called that. Eyes wide in mock surprise, Cass grabbed a pillow from the
sofa and threw it playfully at her mother. Throwing it back, Karen said,
"We'll talk about this some other time, okay." She turned to me.
"Did you do what I think you did?", she asked.
Time to face the music. "Yes."
"Well, you could have said something before now, you know." It
wasn't
exactly an accusation but she was justifiably didn't like not being told
about it.
"I'm sorry, Karen. I thought that you'd feel, well, threatened - it's
why I didn't say anything."
"Do you love me, Chris?"
"With all my heart."
"Come on. Let's go upstairs." I followed her to our bedroom,
closing
the door behind me.
"Something has to be done about this, you know."
"I understand, Karen."
"Good. Now, get those clothes off and take your punishment like the
man I know you are!"
I couldn't get undressed fast enough! Once she had her clothes off, I
went to her and kissed her for loving and understanding. Karen smiled and
reached between us, stroking me. "I'll just have to show my friend here
who's the boss, won't I? I mean, we don't want him to forget who made all
of this possible, do we?"
I returned her devilish grin with one of my own. We moved to the bed
and I began my exploration of her body. In the back of my mind, something
was making comparisons between mother and daughter. Both had large breasts
with nipples that cried out for attention when erect. But where Karen had
straight hair covering her mons, Cass had tight curls. I took each of
Karen's nipples in turn as my fingers rubbed her clitoris, feeling the
copious wetness there. Karen gasped as my finger penetrated her tight
canal and I delighted in the way she moved against my hand. I could feel
my pulse pounding as I opened her legs and began to lap at the sweet, hot
juices flowing from her. Using the firm sucking motion I knew she loved,
I
quickly brought her to climax and was rewarded with an all too familiar
spurt of fluids. There's a Swahili saying I learned years before: "Kama
mama, kama binte - like mother, like daughter." Indeed, my two sweet
ladies
were very much alike!
Part V, Chapter 4
Then my worst nightmare came to life.
All during the summer, I knew that Cass had been having sex with some
guys in her grandmother's neighborhood because our sessions were becoming
scarce. Concerned, I talked to her about it.
"Cass? What's going on with us?"
"I don't know what you mean, Dad."
"I think you do. Does the name Bobby mean anything to you?" Cass
was
never good at lying, the look on her face telling volumes.
"Yeah, I know him."
"You wanna tell me about it? I've been hearing some pretty ugly things
about you and, well, I'm concerned."
"He wanted to do me so I let him."
"Why?," I said feeling hurt.
"Because it's boring over my grandmother's house and I didn't have
anything better to do. At first I told him no but he kept asking me so I
gave him some so he'd stop asking."
"Baby, what did I tell you about having sex under those conditions?
Let
me guess what happened next. Bobby went and told all his friends about
you, right?"
"Something like that. They all kept asking and asking..."
Obviously, they knew all they had to do was put a little pressure on her
and down came the panties. I was furious - I didn't want my little girl being
known as the local whore. "I hate to do this, but this will pretty
much end the trips to grandmom's house. You understand why I have to do
this?"
Instead of being angry, she seemed relieved. "I understand. If I keep
going over there, they'll just keep coming and I really don't want to be
bothered anymore. And, I'm not a whore."
"I hope not, Pumpkin. Word was spreading through the neighborhood
that
anybody could get in your panties - fast. I think you know why."
"How did you find out?"
I smiled. "Honey, I grew up in that neighborhood. There are people
still living there that know me and your mother - and you. These people
care about you, enough that one of them called me and told me what they've
seen."
"And I thought I was being, um, what's that word?"
"Discreet?", I offered.
"Yeah, that. Daddy, I'm sorry. I'm just so confused right now."
"About what?"
"Oh, everything." Cass waved her hand in frustration. "I
don't know!
I'm just confused."
"Anything I can do to help?"
Cass shook her head. "If I figure out what's wrong, I'll let you know,
okay? I just don't want you mad with me." Turning, she left the room,
leaving me with more questions than answers. I started after her and
stopped, realizing she needed her space.
School finally got started and Cass found herself a boyfriend. She was
happy, so I didn't argue with her. Reader, you should keep this in mind -
I'll get back to this boyfriend in a moment.
One day, I stumbled across her diary sitting open on the dining room
table.
"Cass! You want to come get this before someone reads it?"
"What? Oh, my diary. You can read it if you want to - I don't have
anything to hide from you."
A part of me wanted to respect the sanctity of her diary, another was
dying to read it. Guess which part won? Sitting at the table, I read
about some guys she was crazy about and the ones she had taken to bed. She
also wrote about her first time with the new boyfriend and how disappointed
she was after listening to him rant and rave about his prowess. What was
the most interesting reading were her thoughts about me. In her writing,
she spoke of how angry she was at me for ruining lovemaking for her because
it seemed (to her) no one could satisfy her. At the same time, she said
being my lover was what she always wanted, ever since she could remember.
I was troubled by her anger because she'd given me the impression she
was all right about our relationship. I called her so we could talk about
it. "Sweetheart, your diary says you're angry with me because I've ruined
sex for you. Please tell me why you feel this way." This was one of
the
"damages" I was worried about.
She looked nervous as she spoke. "I really love you, Dad. You've shown
me so much and you really make me feel loved and wanted. I still don't
believe what we're doing is wrong. But, I need more."
I was puzzled. Because of our relationship, I was practically giving
her anything she wanted, much to Karen's disapproval - she thought I was
unnecessarily spoiling Cass. She then asked a question, stumping me.
"Dad, have you ever wanted something all your own?"
"All the time, sweetie. May I ask what you want?"
"A baby."
Oh, shit. "A baby? Why? Honey, you're 15 years old; you've got plenty
of time to have babies! Right now, having a baby would hurt you more than
anything else. You've got to finish school and how are you going to
support it?"
"I've thought about this. All I know is I want someone I can devote
all
my love and attention to."
"What am I - chopped liver?" I asked, feigning hurt.
That brought a smile to her lovely features. Cass reached across the
short distance between us and touched my face gently. "No, you're not
chopped liver, silly. Besides, I hate liver. Can we talk about this again
tomorrow or something? I want to go finish reading my book."
"Sure, precious. Whenever you're ready."
I went away from the conversation still feeling uneasy. Cass wanted
children - this told me that her maternal instinct were alive and well;
however, she wanted children now and it bothered me.
Back to her new boyfriend, Barry, because this is important. It's her
16th birthday so she goes out with him, gets laid, and comes home looking
like she'd lost her lunch money. I knew what she had planned - it was in
her diary - so I knew what the source of her displeasure was. I told her
that if she needed me, I'd be available, to talk or whatever. She didn't
want to discuss it, so the matter was dropped.
A couple of weeks later, it's Christmas Eve and the usual family celebration
was underway. Karen and I watched as Aaron, Jason, and Cass
trimmed the tree. Jason was in charge of the project and with a
seriousness that I found amusing, the tree was going up in good order. The
scene gave giving me a warm, fuzzy feeling as I. Right on schedule, the
tree was finished right around midnight so we cheated and began exchanging
presents and the room was quickly filled with colorful paper and ribbons.
As I gave Cass her presents, she looked directly at me and flashed our
signal - two fingers.
My heart fluttered in anticipation. Since meeting Barry, we hadn't made
love - I didn't want to spoil any chance at her being happy with him.
I laid in bed next to Karen, too excited to sleep. Even though I had
"confessed" to Karen - and because nothing had happened between
Cass and I
since she met Barry, I knew Karen thought my making love to Cass had been
a
one-shot deal. No longer able to make myself wait, I got up and went
downstairs to wait.
I paced the living room quietly, listening for the sounds of movement
which would signal Cass's arrival. As I paced, my cock was already growing
large in anticipation of tasting her sweet flesh once more, feeling the
anxiety coursing through me.
A sound from upstairs froze me in place. Nervously, I listened as the
sounds of soft footfalls reached me. Cass appeared on the stairs, dressed
in a white, flowing nightgown and my heart started to pound. She looked so
angelic as she approached and wrapped her arms around me, nuzzling her face
into my bare chest. Looking up at me she silently mouthed the words "I
need you." I dissolved into jelly. With trembling hands, I lifted her
gown
to expose her young, firm body. Tossing the gown aside, I kissed her lips
gently, working my way across her cheek to run my tongue softly behind her
ear. She responded with a shudder, her hands rubbing my back and buttocks.
I stepped back a little to give her room to remove my underwear, which
was doing little to hold the raging erection inside, the head of my cock
protruding from the waistband. Under the glow of the tree, we began to
make love. As always, it began with her sucking me. She was so good at
it, much better than her mother! She surprised me by sucking each of my
balls gently while stroking my cock, sending waves of delight through me.
Leaving my balls, she returned to taking me deep into her throat (I told
you she was good, didn't I?) it never failed to amaze me, knowing it was
something only her mother was capable of doing it. For long minutes, Cass
licked and sucked me, causing me to bite my lip to keep from crying out in
sheer ecstasy. Her soft hands caressed my ass as she continued to pleasure
me.
When she stopped, she looked up at me, an impish look on her face. She
knew she had power over me and she was loving every minute of it. I laid
her down and began to shower her supple body with kisses. As my mouth
closed on a nipple, she cradled my head against her and I could hear a sigh
of pleasure escape her lips. My tongue traced lazy patterns across the
large globes of her breasts while my fingers found her swollen clitoris.
I
could her little sloshing sounds as I worked my fingers into her hot, wet
opening, causing her to wiggle her bottom. As my tongue and lips tasted
the flesh of her tummy, I added another finger, spreading her wide.
"Yes," she whispered, lifting her hips to meet my gentle thrusts.
The
blood was pounding in my head as I replaced my probing fingers with my
mouth, turning myself until we were in a 69 position. I went at her like
a
starving man, nibbling and sucking the succulent flesh of her femininity
as
she teasingly licked the head and shaft of my cock. I could feel her
breath hotly against my turgid flesh, increasing my excitement. I cupped
her firm bottom in my hands, placing her legs back and under my arms,
exposing more of her quivering flesh to my invading tongue. I plunged my
tongue into her, drinking deeply as she came, her body shuddering under me.
I could hear her gasping as she tapped me on my back - the signal she was
ready.
I licked, sucked, and nipped at her, for a moment longer, sending
another intense orgasmic wave through her. I savored the moment as her hot
liquid filled my mouth to overflowing. I knew she couldn't take much more
so I stopped, reluctantly, and prepared to enter her.
Damn! In my haste, I had left my room without a condom! Cass looked up
with me, her eyes reflecting both the lights of the tree and her
all-consuming lust. "Pull out before you come. Just get it in me!"
Nodding, I slid into her deeply, my cock feeling more at home inside her
than any woman I've ever been with. With a great sense of urgency, we made
love under the flickering lights of the tree. She came often and hard,
adding to my continued amazement and pleasure. She was so hot! I could
sense my release coming and at the last moment, withdrew from her, jerking
myself off until I came all over her breasts and stomach. I shook with the
force of my release as her hand replaced mine to milk the last precious
drops of sperm from me. Propping myself up on my elbows, I kissed her
deeply and I felt her moan as the flavor of our combined tastes passed
between us. As we stood, Cass threw herself into my arms, murmuring "I
love you" over and over.
We took turns using the powder room to clean up and, carrying her up the
stairs, I kissed her goodnight and with one last playful pat on her firm
bottom, went to bed. Exhausted, I slid into bed next to Karen and in
minutes, I was asleep, knowing I was the luckiest man in the world.
Part VI
Winter passes and spring rolls in. Cass, usually a good student, was
doing poorly in school and despite the best efforts of Karen and I, we
couldn't find out what was going on with her. In fact, it had gotten so
bad we were considering sending her to a local psychiatric center for
evaluation and treatment. One day, she told me she felt funny, like
something was moving inside of her.
"Cass, have you missed your period?" Nothing like getting right
to the
point.
"No, I don't think I'm pregnant. I just feel funny, that's all."
"Maybe it's just gas or something. We'll wait a little while to see
if
it goes away - if it doesn't, I'll take you to the doctor and get you
checked out."
"Yeah, okay. It's probably just nerves, Dad."
But I wasn't so sure. I made a note to get an appointment for her to be
seen as soon as possible. Before this could happen, we had to commit her
to the center because she had told a teacher she was depressed and was
going to kill herself. I was really concerned at learning this figuring
the strain of our incestuous relationship had finally gotten to her. I
managed to convince myself this was, indeed, the case and all the guilt I
had been ignoring along the way showed up at the same time. I became so
depressed at the thought of having done such a thing to her I gave some
serious thought about my own suicide. But I quickly realized killing
myself wasn't going to help Cass - or me.
On the way back from admitting Cass, Karen asked, "What do you think
is
wrong with her?"
"Honey, I don't know; she's been acting strange ever since Christmas."
"Do you think Barry has something to do with it?"
Now there's a thought, I said to myself. Aloud, I said, "Possibly.
Again, I'm not sure where to look first. I do know they had broken up -
but I don't think it was so bad this had to happen."
Karen: "I think she's hiding something."
"Like what?"
"Maybe she's pregnant?" It was more of a question than a statement.
"I don't know," I began. "When I asked her a few days ago,
she told me
her period was on time."
Or was it? I remembered my original doubts and said, "You know, you
might be right. She's pregnant and doesn't want to say anything. Well,
that's easy enough to check."
Upon reaching the house, I called the center and told them our
suspicions. The center replied they would perform a routine entrance exam
which included all the standard tests for STD and the like. Comforted by
this, I asked them to let me know when they got the results back.
A day later, the center called me at work with some news I didn't expect
to hear. They had taken Cass to the local emergency room because she had
passed out. They couldn't tell me what the problem was and I was frantic,
wanting to leave right then to be by her side - but something in the
caller's voice said there was more to this.
The woman on the other end of the phone told me they had gotten her test
result back and she was quite healthy. However, they found male hormones
in her urine, indicating she was pregnant and they would determine how far
along she was when she arrived at the ER. Did I know about this?
I told her we had suspected as much and, as I spoke, I could feel my
blood pressure rising Cass's strange behavior now having a source.
Pregnant, scared, and not know how she was going to explain it - yeah,
that'll do it.
Shit, shit, shit!
I quickly ended the call, and headed for the ER. I had to exert a great
deal of calm, realizing I was doing almost 80 in a 45 zone. Wouldn't do me
any good to either get killed or get busted for speeding so I slowed to
just over the limit. After what seemed to be forever, I arrived at the ER
and after bullying the nurse at the desk, I found where they were examining
her. Bursting into the room like I owned the place, I started firing
questions at the nurse. I'm sure she had no idea who the hell I was, but
she responded just the same, telling me a doctor was on the way to do a
more in depth examination.
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I looked at Cass laying on the table, looking so vulnerable, her fear
evident and I calmed myself, knowing my being pissed wasn't going to make
her feel any better.
I asked the center's rep who came with her to the ER if I could have a
moment alone with her and, to my surprise, she refused! I blinked, not
understanding this refusal and was about to really get nasty when it dawned
on me: Since they had brought her, they were accepting the responsibility.
But I also sensed something else was going on as both the rep and the
attending nurse were giving me some pretty peculiar looks.
After a couple of minutes of silence had passed, I took a deep breath
and ordered both women out of the room. With reluctance, the center
representative turned to leave, knowing as her father, I had the final
word. But the nurse insisted on remaining in the room, quoting some
hospital policy. This really had me convinced that something wasn't
according to Hoyle - I was very much familiar with this particular
hospital's rules, mostly because my mother spent 30 years working for them.
Giving the nurse a look which said "stay out of my way," I crossed
to the
table and talked to Cass.
"Okay, look. I want you to know I'm not angry or anything." From
the
corner of my eye, the nurse relaxed. "Once we find out what the doctor
has
to say, I think you have an important decision to make: Keep the baby or
abort." Looking into her eyes, I could see the choices running around
in
her mind. I don't favor abortion, but this wasn't my call.
"Cassandra, honey, what do you want to do?"
"I don't want to keep it." I wasn't pleased but, again, not my
call
here. A tap on the door got the nurse's attention and while she answered
it, I quietly asked, "Whose child are your carrying?" The answer
almost
caused me to pass out.
She mouthed a single word: YOURS!
Oh, dear God. . .
I was spared any response by the appearance of the doctor who hustled me
out of the room to do her exam, telling me she'd be with me as soon as she
was done. Then she turned her back on me and started ordering all sorts of
test. After being ushered into the day room, I thought: How was this
possible?, my disorganized thoughts scrambling to regain some semblance of
order as I paced the day room, trying to figure out which end was up. A
million thoughts raced through my mind and all the probable implications
-
and none of them looked good. After about ten or fifteen minutes, the
doctor came out of the exam room and called me over to the nurses station
-
and she didn't look happy.
"Mr. Conner," she began. "Your daughter is fine. Apparently,
the
people at the center told her that they had called you with the news -
that's when she fainted."
I nodded silently as she continued. "She is pregnant, approximately
four months along. Did you or your wife know about this?"
"No, no. We both thought something was going on with her, but when
asked, she always told us everything was fine. We figured eventually we'd
find out what was going on." Oh, boy, did we ever! "Doctor, she's
told me
she wants to terminate the pregnancy."
Even as I said this, I already knew it was too late. The doctor
confirmed it saying, "It would be dangerous, but no one in the state
will
do it since she's so far along. You could go somewhere else, but..."
It
wasn't hard to figure out she didn't advise it.
I thanked her for her help with Cass, asking if I could see her. Before
I could move, the doctor held up a hand to stop me. Impatiently, I gave
her a threatening look. "What is it?"
"I was made to understand there's some question about the father of
the
baby," came her blunt statement. My mouth opened in surprise and started
to reply - then I thought about it - the nurse! She must have told her of
my conversation with Cass when I got there. "And what might that be,
Doctor?" My tone indicated she should be very careful about what she
said
next.
I had to hand it to her. Here we were, standing in the middle of room
with me towering over her and she wasn't intimidated. "To be frank,
Mr.
Conner, I've been told she named you as the father."
"Did she really?", I said, my temper quickly reaching the point
of no
return. "Do I look like a complete idiot or something? Doctor, she knows
she in trouble with me over this. As her father, I also know she has a
knack of diverting attention away from her when she gets in trouble."
"Are you saying she's hiding something?" I could tell by the
look in her
eyes that she didn't believe one word of what I was saying. Undaunted, I
said, "Why do you think she's at the center to begin with? She must
have
known she was pregnant and concocted a story about killing herself to keep
us from finding out. She knew we'd admit her - but she didn't figure on
the examination."
The doctor mulled this over. "Yeah, it fits. I've seen this kind of
thing before." I relaxed.
"Doctor, believe me. I know this girl. If there's something going
on,
we'll get to the bottom of it." I excused myself and returned to Cass.
The
nurse was just finishing cleaning up and upon my entrance, gave me a
scalding look. I returned her baleful stare with one of my own, causing
her to retreat to a corner, pretending to straighten out some sheets.
"Cass, the doctor tells me aborting is out of the question. So, it
looks like we've got some preparations to make, huh?" She smiled weakly
-
was it a smile of relief?
"You gonna tell my mother when you get home?"
"Ah, well, I guess I have to, huh? Don't worry - we'll make sure
everything turns out just fine."
After learning nothing else was really wrong with her and she'd be
spending the night, I left, my mind in turmoil as I searched for a way to
tell Karen she was going to be a grandmother. Personally, I'd rather face
starving wolves. . .
I got home, told Karen the news and, as expected, she didn't take it
well. "How could she let this happen?" she sobbed. I stood there
feeling
helpless.
"Karen, how doesn't matter now. What does matter is getting things
ready for the new arrival." She nodded in agreement. Between the two
of
us, we determined that Barry was the culprit and after getting his phone
number, I called him and told him the "good news." Not unexpected,
he
denied it, saying they only did it once (a lie) and he had used protection
- at least this much was true because we found an empty package in her
room. I spoke to his mother, who wasn't in the least bit happy about any
of
this. I hung up after gaining her support to make sure Barry held up his
end.
This taken care of, I set out to develop a plan of action to deal with
the new arrival. We had to arrange prenatal care and all the usual stuff.
Once this was in place, we figured things were going to work out just fine.
Not really. A few days later, I got a call from the center's social
worker, who insisted on meeting with me personally that day. I had to do
some juggling, but I cleared the time and told her I could be in her office
in twenty minutes. Upon my arrival, I was escorted to the worker's office.
For several minutes, she said nothing, making a show of shuffling some
papers on her desk. Then, without any preamble, she hit me with a body
shot.
"Mr. Conner," she began. "Cass tells me you two are lovers
- any truth
to this?"
I kept my composure - how I don't know. Before I could respond, she
continued by saying, "Personally, I don't believe it." With a chuckle,
she
said, "If I told you how many times I've heard this, your hair would
curl!"
"But, because Cass has accused you of also fathering her baby, an
investigation by state authorities is mandatory."
A cold drop of sweat rolled down my back as panic started to set in.
Terror gripped my heart because I knew the authorities were relentless in
their quest to prosecute child molesters.
My fear was so great, I barely heard her say, "You could help clear
yourself by coming with me to the lab and taking a blood test." Her
words
snapped me back to reality. "I don't think so, Mrs. Ames. Let me tell
you why. From where I sit, her boyfriend Barry is the father. Cass has
already told me she and Barry had sex and afterwards, the condom came off
of him while he was inside her. And Barry tells the same story. Based on
this admission, I don't see any reason to take any tests."
"Mr. Conner! Be reasonable! If you aren't the father, you don't have
anything to worry about, do you?"
Just the way she said it gave me plenty to worry about. I was all too
familiar with the way paternity tests were routinely botched by lab
technicians; I also knew about false positive test results. No, I wasn't
about to set myself up to be railroaded.
"No. I refuse to be tested."
Well, this didn't make Mrs. Ames happy with me. "We can make you take
the test, you know."
I laughed and said, "You're going to need a court order, then. Good
luck."
"I'm sorry to hear you feel this way, Mr. Conner. Of course, the
police will be investigating as well since state law also mandates it. One
way or the other, the truth will be found."
I left the center, burning with a rage I never knew before. Betrayed!
But why? Didn't she know uttering those words just condemned me to a life
of prison walls? As the tears flowed hotly onto my cheeks, I realized I
was looking at my alpha and omega. By the time I got home, I was still
pretty depressed. I went looking for Karen, knowing I couldn't put off
telling her what the meeting was about. After getting Karen and the boys
together, I began.
"As you know, we had to put Cass in at the Arlington Center so we
could
find out what was bothering her." I stopped to collect my thoughts as
Jason
and Aaron nodded, sadness overlaying their concern. "Well," I continued,
"we know what the problem is - she's going to have a baby." Nods
of
agreement gave me the strength to continue. "What I just found out will
probably not make sense, but it seems that Cass has told the folks at
Arlington that I am the father of her baby."
Big mistake - and it's putting things mildly. The dining room erupted
in chaotic conversation.
"You? Dad..."
"Hold, it one minute! My sister said what?"
Slapping her hand on the table, Karen quieted Jason and Aaron. "Let's
hear what your father has to say."
"I was told the child abuse investigators and the police would be
called
in. Because Cass fingered me, so to speak, they wanted me to submit to a
blood test. I refused."
"As well you should," said Jason and I was touched by his protective
attitude towards me.
Karen addressed the boys. "Your father and I figured out that Barry
is
the father. But he denies it."
You can imagine this news didn't go over well with either of the
brothers. "He's history, " intoned Aaron a look of determination
on his
face.
"Yeah, right," chimed in Jason. I raised my hands for silence.
"Guys, beating him up isn't going to solve anything."
Jason muttered, "Yeah, but it would feel good right about now!"
I
smiled; of the two, Jason was more protective of Cass despite being the
youngest of the three.
"We all have to understand that Cass will be going through a lot over
the next few months and we have to do all we can to help. Agreed?"
Both boys nodded and I dismissed them after catching Karen's look of
"we've got to talk." Once we were alone, Karen voiced her concerns.
"These people are going to try nail you for this."
"I know, I know.
"Is it yours?"
"No! No way!"
"Okay, I just wanted to know because I'm behind you on this."
"I appreciate it, Karen; I'm going to need all the help I can get."
Part VI - Chapter 2
I only visited Cass once during the rest of her stay at the center and
even then it was supervised because the center's staff felt that I would
try to coerce her into changing her story or do her some harm. I thought
the whole thing funny, even though I did see their point. Holding black
belts in two martial art disciplines, I doubted if the center's staff could
stop me if I wanted to hurt my little girl.
Anyway, with the investigation well underway, the state authorities as
well as the local police questioned me. During all of this, I was an
emotional mess. There were days when I just couldn't think straight, my
mind occupied with thoughts of going to jail and having to deal with life
there. I would go for walks and find myself wandering aimlessly through
the neighborhood. Then there were the other moments that added to my
despair - the other members of the family constantly questioned me, asking
why Cass would say something like this. My answers were always the same;
I
had no idea. Deep in my heart, I really didn't know.
At every step in our relationship, questions were asked to ensure that
all was well. I never pressured Cass into anything. Sure, there were days
when I would have to put my foot down on some things like keeping her room
clean; but Cass understood that even though our relationship was deep and
special, it didn't excuse her from the day-to-day family responsibilities.
What could I have done to mess up our happiness?
There were my conversations with my closet friend, the only other person
I could trust. I had been unable to contain my joy and confided in Kevin
right from the beginning and I knew he understood and agreed with what was
going on. Feeling like I had to get a second opinion, I called Kevin.
"She did what!" he exclaimed after I told him what was going
on. "Is
the girl crazy?" I could tell he was both surprised and angry at my
apparent betrayal. "Chris, what the hell is going on?"
"Kev, I don't know, man."
"Have you asked her?"
"I'm not sure I really want to know; it's not going to make a
difference."
"What do you mean?"
"Kev, they are going to believe her no matter what I say. Plain and
simple."
"Chris, you could be wrong." I knew Kevin was trying to keep
me positive
but his words lacked any truth. We both knew cases like this went to court
and ended up with the men involved getting long jail sentences. Just a
week ago, a man got four life sentences, even though the girl involved
openly admitted to seducing the much-older man.
"Kevin, I appreciate your support," I said as the tears started
to flow.
Sobbing and unable to continue, I sniffed out an apology to Kevin,
promising to call him later. After hanging up, I gave in to my fear and
pain, crying uncontrollably. I knew my life was over. For some reason,
Cass had opened the door and shoved me in - the system would make sure the
door got slammed and locked.
Cass returned home after two weeks at Arlington and things between us
were barely civil. Whenever she looked at me, I turned away; not in hate,
but in sorrow and confusion. I didn't want to risk saying anything to Cass
that the child abuse center investigator could use against me. But I had
to know why I was going to jail. When I had a chance to be alone with her,
I decided to find out what was on her mind.
As I framed questions in my mind I looked at Cass, who sat before me
with her eyes down.
"I have to know, Cass. Why did you betray me?"
"I don't know," came her infuriating reply.
"You don't know? Cass, these people are going to take you away and
put
you in some foster home! On top of this, they are going to send me to
jail! Please don't tell me you don't know!"
"I told them I said it because I was scared," a teary-eyed Cass
replied.
"When they asked me who the baby's father was and who I'd been having
sex
with, I wasn't thinking."
"Honey, you picked a pretty bad time to tell the truth," I said
with a
wry, smile.
"But, I told them you didn't force me to do anything!"
I sighed. "Pumpkin, nothing you're going to say now is going to save
me. First you tell them one thing, then turn around and tell them something
different. They might be thinking that I managed to force you into
changing your story."
Cass was crying as she said, "Dad, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt
you
or get you in trouble. I just didn't know what to do."
I nodded, understanding her position. At the same time, I resigned
myself to my fate. I wasn't really being selfish - this possibility had
always been in the front of my mind from Day One. Nothing else remained
but to face whatever penalty they chose for me.
While going over this in my mind, Cass was saying something about her
boyfriend and the last time she saw him, on her birthday. I really didn't
hear most of it, but one part stuck out in my mind - the date she last had
sex with him. Suddenly, my mind started doing some calculations: I knew
her due date and the last time she had sex with him - and it wasn't coming
up right. Using the formula doctor's use for determining conception dates,
I came up with an answer to why it wasn't coming up right - and it stopped
my breathing.
The date of conception was, oh dear God, the day after Christmas. I sat
there for a moment, reliving the events. I clearly remembered being
insider her, stroking along. She came, I was about to come and I got out
in time, didn't I? Apparently not.
She couldn't help but notice my silence. I looked at her with tears in
my eyes now; I can't really say they were tears of frustration or joy.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
Quietly I said, "I don't think the baby is Barry's.
Her expression told me she didn't understand, so grabbing a piece of
paper and a pencil, I did the math for her. I watched as Cass's eyes grew
wide with astonishment. Then the weirdest thing happened. Instead of her
getting upset, she smiled, hugged me!
"Thank you, oh, thank you!" As she continued to hug me, I had
to admit I
didn't see much to be thankful of; I was going to jail for the rest of my
life now.
Part VI - Chapter 3
A couple of weeks later, I came home from work to find the police and
CAC investigator waiting for me. For those couple of weeks, I went through
mood swings that surprised even me. One moment, I would behave like a
beaten man, moping my way through things, living each moment as they would
be my last. The next moment I was full of love and happiness knowing Cass
was carrying our child. Seeing the police car in the driveway, however, I
couldn't help but feel my nightmare was about to begin.
My heart was pounding so hard I thought a heart attack was in the works.
In a moment of panic, I started to get back in the car and run until I ran
out of gas or money. But I couldn't run. Not because they'd find me;
because I had to be a man and deal with the consequences of my actions.
Taking a deep breath, I went inside.
Everyone in the room looked up at my entrance, their faces unreadable as
was mine. After some introductions, Karen left the house, leaving me alone
with Cass and the law. The ensuing silence was maddening. Finally, not
being able to stand it any longer, I broke the verbal impasse. "What
did
you discover?" And braced for the worse.
"Perhaps this could be better discussed just between the three of
us,"
spoke Detective Brennan, casting his eyes in Cass's direction.
"Cass, would you mind...?" Cass went outside and they laid the
news on
me.
Brennan: "Mr. Conner, given your daughter's statements to us, we had
determined you would be charged with child abuse." I almost passed out
right on the spot.
Mrs. Edwards, the CAC investigator, spoke up. "But we changed our
minds, particularly after Cass told us she was a willing participant and,
therefore, according to law, not a victim." Before I could relax, Mrs.
Edwards continued.
"We then decided instead of charging you with unlawful sexual
intercourse, your daughter would be removed from the home. You will have
to undergo court-mandated therapy." Again, my heart sunk. Well, that
was
better than going to jail - but not by much.
Detective Brennan picked it up from there. "This was before the CAC
got
the results of the our police investigation. Tell me, do you remember the
false rape reported by your daughter?"
"Of course I remember. What does that...?"
"Well, we decided she had an axe to grind, based on the events found
in
the false report."
Oh, I remembered that day all too well. Cass had stolen her brother's
check book and forged several of his checks to buy some items at school.
Of course, we discovered the theft and faced her with it, proving the
accusations with the canceled checks. She ran upstairs, screaming about it
not being fair, only to return a few minutes later saying she needed to
talk to me about something which had happened at school and, after several
minutes of persuasion, I got her to tell me what she was talking about.
That's when she told me some guy had raped her in school earlier in the
day.
I had exploded with rage! Rape!? Where is the son-of-a-bitch? As
Karen and I listened to the details, there was a nagging thought at the
back of my mind - something wasn't quite right. I called the police and
they sent two officers over to investigate. After getting her story, they
told us she'd have to undergo testing so they could collect any evidence.
Karen left with Cass and the police, leaving me to think things out.
After a minute or two it dawned on me what was wrong - she was lying
because we busted her about stealing from her brother and this was her way
of distracting us! Meanwhile, at the hospital, the examination came up
clean, only revealing she was sexually active. But it was a fitting
punishment, I thought, because any woman who's been raped and reported it
knows how personal the resulting physical exam can be - they want to know
everything!
"After reading the report, Mr. Connor, " chimed Edwards, "I
went back
and grilled Cass again. As a result of this increased pressure, I got her
to confess you hadn't sexually assaulted her and you aren't the father of
her child. Therefore, the case against you is being officially dropped -
no charges would be filed in this matter."
Throughout it all, I showed no emotion because I really wasn't sure
which emotion would be the right one. They apologized for the hassles,
pointing out the necessity. Absently, I accepted their apologies and
showed them out. As soon as they left, Cass returned from her temporary
exile. I turned to her and asked, "You lied! Why?"
Smiling, Cass said, "Once I realized you are the baby's father, I
knew
you wouldn't be able to provide for him/her if you're rotting in a jail
cell. Dad?"
"Yeah, babe?"
"I just want you to know I love you very much. When they told me I
was
pregnant, I got scared and panicked. I really didn't think the center
would do anything, since I told the worker there it wasn't done against my
will."
"Pumpkin, this was one of the main things we talked about - what could
happen if the truth ever came out!"
"I know. I remembered after telling our story to the center's staff.
I
need to know something."
"What?"
"Can you find it in your heart to forgive me for being so thoughtless?"
It was a hard question for me to answer, under the circumstances. On
the one hand, I had been found innocent of any wrongdoing (ha, ha). On the
other, I had been subjected to a great deal of scrutiny by the authorities
despite the fact they were trying to poke holes in her story more than
mine. As I sat there, I thought about all the terror I lived through, my
fears of imprisonment reducing me to a bundle of nerves.
I knew then that I had no one to blame for this except myself. Had I
not given in to her in the first place, things would not have gotten to
this point. I could have said "No way, Jose." I didn't and chose
to let my
lust and my love for Cass get the better of me. So depending on how one
cared to look at it, had I not done the things I did, she wouldn't have
been in the position of having to tell of our relationship.
Finished with my thinking, I wiped my eyes and looked across the room at
her, knowing in my heart I've never been so much in love with her before
in
my life. I stood and opened my arms to welcome her back. With her tears
now flowing freely, she fell into my embrace and we held each other closely
while exchanging apologies. I could feel the slight swelling of her belly
against me and the thought of my child growing inside of my child tore down
whatever emotional walls remained.
Part VII - Chapter 1
Over the next couple of months, I watched the changes in her. Her
breasts were larger and fuller, filling with milk our son would need. Oh,
yes, one of the first things we learned was it was a boy! It was hard for
me to contain my joy while playing the role of the father with the
"disgraced daughter." Her former boyfriend, having panicked upon
hearing of
his "fatherhood," skipped town. To this very day, he believes the
child is
his. . .
I had taken a half-day of vacation from work, wanting to enjoy the
beautiful summer weather we were having. When I came in, I found my very
pregnant daughter sitting in front of the TV, but not watching it. After
putting my briefcase away, I asked what was wrong.
For a moment, she didn't answer; I figured her hormones were plotting
against her again, so I wasn't going to bother her. So, with a shrug, I
went to the kitchen for something to drink. Returning to the living room,
I found her pacing the room nervously. I was starting to get concerned,
now wondering if something was wrong with the baby. She walked past me and
stopped. Turning in my direction, she looked at me and said, "You know,
you really make me mad!"
Well, how's that for a slap in the face? "Huh? What did I do?"
I
asked.
Her reply was rather forceful. "It's not what you did, well, it is,
but
it's more what you didn't do."
If you thought I was confused before... So, I waited and while I did,
my mind was racing trying to figure out how I managed to get on her wrong
side, other than the obvious. "What didn't I do?"
She rolled her eyes and continued her pacing. This was getting to be
too much for me, so I grabbed her and asked, "What the hell is wrong
with
you?" The look she gave me in return would have caused it to snow in
July.
"I need some loving," she finally said. "And you haven't
even bothered
to see if I was alright in this regard."
Women - damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Suppressing my bafflement, I said, "Well, since we kissed and made
up,
we didn't discuss that aspect of our relationship." I mean, hadn't I
done
enough already?
Her frustration was coming through loud and clear and she said, "Just
because we had a problem before doesn't mean we have one now."
As I stood there, looking totally silly in my confusion, she took a step
toward me and declared, "If you don't take me upstairs and make love
to me,
I'm going to lose what was left of my mind!" With this having been said,
she headed up the stairs, with me right behind her.
I caught up with her just in time to see her removing her maternity
clothing. As I closed the door, I took in the scene before me. The sight
of her swollen breasts and tummy was intoxicating. Even being on the other
side of the room, I could feel her sexual energy wash over me. I must have
been taking too long in undressing because she came over to me and started
pulling my shirt over my head, not even bothering with undoing the buttons.
I could feel my own heat building inside of me as I unfastened my pants and
stepped out of them, ripping them at the crotch in my haste.
She was so beautiful in her pregnancy; well, at least I thought so.
Gently, I reached out and placed a trembling hand on the swollen curve of
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