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Sometimes I wonder about the meaning of "Bi." I try to decide what I am. Am I bi., gay or straight. When I step out of the shower and look in the mirror, the image I see is female. My breast are female, my hips broaden, between my legs are the lips and moisture of a female. And when I'm with a man named Ned I have reached a sexual intensity that even as I write causes me to shiver as though something frightening is sneaking up behind me. I have even reached what could be called orgasmic greed when I found myself demanding more from a perfect stranger whose only redeeming attributes where the size of his cock and tongue. But then while that was going on Mandy was massaging my face between her two huge breasts. What am I?

But it is Sue who causes me to wonder the most. My passion for her is consuming. Lately, even as I work, I find myself daydreaming about her. Sue tells me she has the same problem. I can't get enough of her body next to me, her caresses, her mouth, the touch of her pussy on my lips, her taste in my mouth. I dream of steamy summer nights, holding her against me, the perspiration covering our bodies, her legs wrapped around me while she presses her breast and pubic mound against me. Even as I write I feel my own wetness escaping and beginning to moisten the area between my legs and down to my asshole. I can't think straight.

And that is what is most frightening. When I am with her sometimes my primal lust takes control of me and I couldn't stop our lovemaking (I find it hard to realize I am speaking that way about another woman) if suddenly the door burst open and a whole group of people poured in and saw me naked, my arms and leg spread, my shaved pussy exposed to all. Even if they were my mother, my brother, my father or the ancient aunt Lena I'm named for. I couldn't move. It is like I'm standing with them, looking down on these two women, shocked but unable to speak or move. I yearn for then to join with Sue, to touch and caress me, to explore my body, to see me for the carnal person I am. How is it these feeling are so powerful when I'm with Sue?

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Sue also seems overwhelmed with our relationship. I've given myself to her. My body is hers. She can do anything she desires and I will do any thing she request. Nothing will be held back. She responds by devouring me, exploring me as though I represent her own soul. She will have me open myself to her as she takes each of my pussy lips in her fingers and examines them for what seems hours. She pulls the hood of my clit up to look and then with her tongue stokes the sides to see what touch causes the rest of my pussy to move as my body begins its response. She taste my cream, first with her tongue and then with her mouth she sucks it from me until I feel my brain draining from my vagina. At times she places my nipple in her mouth and just holds it there while her tongue draws circles on it and my areola. At other times she falls asleep on my chest gently sucking on me. An aura of ecstasy envelopes us.

I've found new eroticism with her. She will sometimes turn all the lights out and place just one finger slightly in me, just far enough to feel my response, and then asked me to think about her. My mind carries me to another world. Many guys want us to scream, thrash and moan during sex. With Sue, I lay perfectly still. My screams are in my mind. The only movements are primal. My nipples rising. My pussy lips swelling and then twitching as the thoughts flood into me. My cream leaking from me, first down to moisten my asshole them on to the sheets. I'm sopping with my lust. The orgasm seems to last forever. I sense only one, but Sue tells me that in reality there are many and sometimes the whole experience goes on for as much as thirty or fortyfive minutes. I wouldn't know. When the fog lifts I feel drained, unable to move. I can remember going in and coming out but I only carry the sensuous feelings, not the mental details of what went on between.

Sue has also been shocked by her sexuality. She has found she can reach oral orgasm as well as vaginal. Both of us are amazed by that discovery. We have experimented with other sites on our body to bring ourselves to climax. The area between her ass and pussy has created such orgasmic intensity in Sue that afterwards she begged for my nipple. And as she sucked and kissed I found my pussy responding with an orgasm that was both sexual and soothing.

So as I said, I am still trying to find out the meaning of bisexual and where it fits into my life. What am I. What is anyone? Do others wonder sometimes who lives within them and what or who it would take to bring that person out?

Good night. Sleep tight. Lena.