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Ever since I broke up with my girl last summer, I've been reluctant to go out alone on an evening. Why? Because my already big cock swelled to an incredible 10" and I absolutely hate it when woman do the nudge-nudge routine whenever I walk into a pub or a club. Fortunately my friend Paul also happens to be very big, so we go out on the razzle together - safety in numbers, kind of thing.

With looks like ours, Paul and I should take it easy on the booze, but Paul's wife pissed off and left him just before Christmas and he needed cheering up - so what better but to take him out for a drink? As you can imagine, we didn't stop at one drink, and come closing time we were reeling - and surrounded by gorgeous women.

Paul and I went out to the men's to draw up battle plans. Although there were five women to choose from, he and I both fancied the same babe. Paul offered to toss a coin, but my solution appealed to him a lot more, I.e. " Lets take her home and fuck her till her cunt fills up!"

Yes, Christmas certainly came early for this buxom, blonde babe - and her 'coming early' was exactly what Paul and I were worried about. We sat either side of her on the taxi ride home, Paul with his tongue down her throat and yours truly stroking the warmth between her legs. Good looking and huge tits to match!

The pair of us behaved so disgustingly with that poor Betsy, we should have been arrested for indecency! Paul remembered a kinky video he'd watched with his wife, in which a guy wanked off some cucumber into a girls open and eagerly awaiting cunt - and he was determined to try it out.

Or, so he said. But fantasy is one thing and cold reality is another, and when we arrived back at my place we got a bit embarrassed. After all, we'd never been naked in front of one another and we didn't know where to start.

Somehow or another, things sorted themselves out. I went out to the kitchen to get a cucumber, and when I returned to the lounge I found Paul on Supersluts lap with her legs open, skirt up and his finger tips working overtime on her clit. Only when I put the cucumber on the coffee table did she flash me her pussy, sticking through the side of her panties and up by Paul's tongue. I tell you, I've seen smaller oysters...

"Come and undo my fly, Blondy," said Paul. Take yours off and all, so we can compare notes."

While this dirty bitch sat on my sofa stoking her pussy, we undressed. I was proud to discover I had the edge, sizewise - at which point the embarrassment stopped. Paul and I fooled around with her boobies. It was suddenly obvious that Paul was enjoying playing with her nipples just a little too much, and when I stepped back at pace, what should I bump into but the cucumber for Blondy's cunt.

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While I could have done without Paul's sensual capers, it's good he broke the ice. We had stripped down to our birthday suits and sat on the couch with our big-breasted Christmas present sitting between us, sharing a three way French kiss and probing our fingers in and out of her now drenched pussy. Her pussy was so wet and hot, I could hardly keep my cock out of it. My cock grew harder and my heart was throbbing - but Paul wanted to play his tacky game.

Kneeling beside big Blondy, he rested his face on her belly and took the cucumber from the table and placed it on her inner thigh, getting very turned on by the attention she was paying to my enormous cock, i started to stroke myself whilst the cucumber was being devoured by this insatiable slut.

I'd love to have had my cock in that wet, stretched pussy, but judging by the glazed look in Paul's eyes, he wanted nothing less than to have his face coated with her cum. I decided that enough was enough and approached her face where with no surprise she reached up grabbed my cock and stuffed that down her throat. Faster and faster she sucked and fisted me off, till my balls went tight and my cock flexed like crazy, shooting my thick hot load down her throat. Paul opened his mouth and poked his tongue out at me - coated as it was with pussy juice.

In the bedroom, things got even raunchier. I asked Blondy to stand at the brass headrail and stick her arse in the air, and I promptly found another lease of life and shoved my cock up her from behind. Okay, so it felt devine pushing my big cock up her doggie style - but not half as devine as having my huge, dangling balls being stroked by her at the same time. Meanwhile Paul had decided to suck and tease the girl, and stroke her pussy while I fucked her.

Then the dirty bitch said she wanted Paul and I to both fuck her. I looked at Paul and said " Maybe if we have a drink?" So I popped downstairs for my special emergency bottle of Jack Daniel's!

The rotten bloody sod! When I got back to my bedroom, Paul was giving the royal shag treatment to our pick-up, and if there's one thing I hate, it's being left out! Blondy was rubbing her self while Paul pulled out his prick till only his knob lay inside her, enabling me to snuggle up alongside and lick her cunt. Blondy's pussy looked so fantastic all jammed full of prick, I put my hand between her legs and rubbed her hot, wet pussy as I licked. Meanwhile Blondy swung around to suck my cock yet again. I climaxed within seconds and immediately crashed out - only to be awoken in the most bizarre fashion in the middle of the night by finding Blondy straddling me and Paul taking her from behind. I didn't think it would happen, but I was in no position to argue. Paul seemed to cum gallons all over her back and rolled over and fell asleep, so I managed to get another good few hours in shagging this big busted woman by myself.

A night to remember? A night best forgotten, I reckon!